Want 2 Be Barbie

I was reading my new issue of InStyle today and saw an ad for David Babaii for WildAid. David’s products are touted as being great for your hair and great for the planet. No sulfates, no parabens, no animal testing and made of natural ingredients. Ten pecent of te profits are donated to WildAid to help endangered animals. You can check them out at db4wildaid.com. My only complaint is that the incredible overuse of Adobe Flash made it really hard to lift this picture. Which I did anyway, because it constitutes fair use. *Sniff of disdain*

And it was so good! I used powdered milk, even though the box said not to, and froze it in cupcakes according to the suggestion on the back of the box. This kept it low fat so it wouldn’t go straight to my swivel hips. Each Cupcake has only 165 skinny calories!

And did you know you can buy food from Amazon.com? SRSLY. Me either. But you sure can, look right here. Free super saver shipping, and a subscription option. Oreo heaven, right there.

Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, aren’t these the best shoes ever? Couldn’t you just eat them UP? Seriously! I passed them in the mall and just had to have them. They spoke to me in an audible voice, assuring me that my life had been formerly incomplete, and that together, we could climb mountains. Or at lest walk gimpily across the flatlands. Does the fact that I would not wait for the store to order a different size, but instead accepted a marginal fit tell you how much I LOVE these shoes? Awesome T.U.K. High Heel Wing Tip Mary Janes in a 6? Forty bucks. Toes? Optional.

I want some more jeans. I really want some “Blu” jeans, but I can’t figure out where they came from, so it’s going to be a little difficult to find them. But they do fit me just right in all the right places. Alllllll the right places. Most notably my behind. That’s right. I said “my behind”. Cause it’s mighty fine and getting better every day.

At the left you see what may be my second best alternative: custom fitted St. John’s Bay jeans. I put in all my measurements, and viola, they said they could create a pair of jeans exactly my size. We’ll see about that. You know I will send them right back if they don’t!

I just love these eye shadows. The packaging, the palette, it’s all part of the appeal to me! I started with the pink and the blue, and then I had to order the rest of them. Can you see in the pictures how they are sparkly? Well, when they go on, they are not quite as sparkly as they look in the compact, and that’s fine. But as you brush them on, some of the sparkles actually land around the eye, and it really lights up that area of the face. Truly draws the attention to the eye area without an overwhelming LOOK AT ME effect. Truly glam, but also appropriate for everyday. I use an eyeshadow brush, and never the applicators that come with the shadows. Ever.

I just love these bowls! Seriously, how cute are they? With the words on the side, you know exactly what to put in them. And they look good. Food just tastes better when it’s made in pretty dishes! Of course, I probably would not use them to cook, because I would be afraid of breaking them. But I could stack them on the corner of the counter, and they would look so cool. And we all know it’s the looks that matter.

As an aside, did you know that at Target, you can shop for kitchen stuff by color? The very idea makes my eyes sparkle. And you thought that was paint, didn’t you? But it’s not. It’s the concept of being able to order appliances and dishes in my signature color: pink.

Of which red is also a part, because I said so. I can have two favorite colors. It is allowed.

I tried the Anew Night Repair, Yes, I did, and it gets the Barbie Seal of Approval. That looks like the lipstick print above, in case you wondered. Now, I don’t really need this stuff, just so you know. It’s a sample my Avon lady gave me because she did because I buy lipstick and eyeshadow and bath gels from her. She is trying to make me think I have crows feet so I will buy more stuff, but we know this is not true. Plastic faces do not wrinkle.

So, the Anew night repair creme goes on very light, and sinks in rapidly. Just a dab will do ya! In the morning, my face doesn’t feel overly greasy like it can with some night creams. The smell is fresh and barely there, which is a plus, because heavy scents in face creams really put me off. After a week of use, my face feels smooth and I am beautiful. But I was already that.

I want a new laptop. I want a Dell with the big four year warranty, including accidental damage. a 350 Gb HDD so I can load all my photos and music on it, 3 GB of RAM and a quad core processor. Does Dell even have a quad core? If not, they should. I just love speaking geek. Also, the display must work properly, because having to sit at my desk to use my laptop is so … well, I’m just over it. “Yesterday” doesn’t begin to describe this low-brow shizzle.

Also, it must have the “Blossom” cover panel. That is all.

I want a new van, because the latch on my sliding door on mine is broken, and I have to manually pull it down to shut the door. I am going to chip a nail doing that one day, and then I will wither you all with my hot stare of death. I want it to be red like that one. I want dual sliding doors, so I can reach all those carseats. And I want the radio to work, too, this time. No, scratch that. I want a cd player and MP3 jack, so I can turn it up really loud and make the kids suffer through WHAM! and Air Supply, just like they make me suffer through their bickering now. Sweet revenge indeed: a new red ride and surround sound.

I want a digital food scale to measure my food. I’m trying to watch my calories and saturated fats here, and it’s totally hard to do that when people list weights on the labels instead of cup measurements. I realize its probably to keep me from knowing a food has 427 calories per bite so my butt will just get wider and wider until I need to borrow Chrissy’s big ass pants. But truly, a digital scale would tell me all I need to know.